Embodying Fluidity Part II

Fluidity Is Me

In attempting to envision my future in ten years, I feared that I could not have dreams, visions, or goals. I felt like I had no direction and yet I was being pulled in a thousand different directions. As much as I begged myself to put more in this mental picture, I just could not. It was only after contemplating this experience that I realized it was a manifestation of the VAM meditation earlier that day.


Rachelle led us through a guided meditation and visioning...

In my vision, I was sitting on top of a hill in front of an empty wood cabin. I was completely alone and sitting still in silence. This grassy hill looked out to an extensive mountain range and a vast grey-blue sky. I was not unwell. I felt emotionless, fearless, and sharp - yet open. My only task in life at that moment was to breathe in and breathe out. I was not taking nor was I giving anything to the world around me other than an exchange of breath. Even when my teacher mentioned relationships and family, I remained alone on this hill.


Steadiness.               openness.               endlessness.


During this vision, I begged for more before realizing that I was out of touch with all that I had within. I did not need more, I did not need anything for I was embodying Vam. What I truly needed in my life was stillness, calmness, and serenity. The mind that I used to know feared the future and approached every possible decision with anxiety and with debilitating fear. In this moment, in ten years, on top of a hill, I felt completely still and totally fluid. In the future, I live in the present and I allow the universe to act through me. I imagined myself as a vessel for beauty and creativity and love. 


I know now that my vision is not an outcome nor a goal but rather, a process. It is a process that starts today, that starts now, and that starts in my heart.